Personal development

Self-Coaching: Is It Really Effective?

With infinite information available at your fingertips, you might think you can master any field of knowledge directly, including Coaching. But does self-coaching actually work? 

What are you looking to achieve?

We hear stories every day where someone with absolutely no experience learnt how to build a house – structure, plumbing, electrical, etc. – using only YouTube tutorials. Or a complete amateur learnt how to fix a car engine simply watching a TV show.

These days, there are so many resources, guides and tools about self-development online that it’s logical for some people to think they can “coach” themselves using those resources. Yet, they may not even be sure about what coaching is exactly.

So, here’s my first question to anyone who’s considering doing that:

💡 > What is the outcome you expect from coaching?

  • If you are looking to gather information about alternative life/work experiences you could be doing in future, you can easily do that through your own research online or offline. You can find some clarifications and a few useful insights directly, but you won’t know how to best follow up.
  • If you are looking to make actual changes in your life – precisely the changes you need to make in order to achieve your specific goals – you won’t be able to do that through self-coaching attempts. You’ll need a person external to you who has the ability to guide you on how to do that: i.e., a Coach/ Mentor.

Here’s a second enlightening question for you:

💡 > If you had a chance to work with a professional Coach for free, would you still prefer self-coaching?

  • If your answer is yes, it’s likely you have a personality type that is unable to open up easily to external advisors. Perhaps you are an introvert who doesn’t like to talk about themselves or you naturally mistrust others. In this case, you should continue to explore options of what to do by yourself, until you are ready to move away from your comfort zone.
  • If your answer is no, take a moment to evaluate how much you really want to achieve those changes. First, do a little self-assessment on what you would gain from the experience of being coached (e.g., you might start a new career of your choice). Then, ask yourself how much gaining that particular outcome is worth to you (e.g., how much would you pay to confidently know what the right career path for you is).

Just going through these two questions will give you a good idea of what the right experience for you is in your present situation.

Quote from Albert Einstein

Self-Coaching: advantages and disadvantages

If you are feeling dissatisfied with where you are in your life or in your work, you may want to start a bit of self-coaching while you test for yourself if it works or if you should hire a specialist Coach instead.

But let’s look at the differences of these two options in more details.

Here are 3 practical advantages of self-coaching:

1> You have no time constraints.

You can dedicate as much time as you want to your self-discovery actions, focusing on as many options as you want, anytime, anywhere. You can keep a flexible agenda and feel less pressured about finding a solution to unblock your situation.

2> You can choose your own process.

You can use a free-flowing approach to tackling the issue or a more structured methodology. You can try all the different tools you can find online. You can do some journaling; you can take notes from listening to webinars and podcasts or you can even record yourself while stating your goal affirmations.

3> It’s free!

Best thing is self-coaching comes with no hard costs! But it does come with soft costs: all your time spent on researching and practising all the free coaching material you find. So, consider this: are those freebies going to give you what you need right now, in a way that they provide the specific learning you need for your future goals?

And here are 3 disadvantages of self-coaching:

1> You have no validation or moral support.

You might think you are able to take any event, situation, or idea and think it through with enough depth to move it from thought into action, and then to reality. But most people prefer to share their ideas with somebody they trust, to gain some form of validation or hear a different perspective. Even if you identify what your goal is by yourself, you’ll likely need plenty of moral support to make changes happen.

2> You can’t challenge your own self.

You may think that you know yourself well: you know what makes you tick, what your history is, and what your likes and dislikes are. But the truth is you don’t really know yourself, because 90% of our behaviour is ruled by our subconscious. So, how will you be able to challenge your own perceptions, beliefs, or old patterns of behaviour?

3> You can’t be accountable to yourself.

You may like to explore multiple roads and try different things to achieve your goals, but you’ll be doing this by improvising the solutions while facing a continuous flow of new options coming in. With self-coaching, you’ll have a high risk of procrastination and diversions from the main road you set off to drive through. Eventually, you may feel so stuck that you’ll either give up on your goals entirely or realize it’s time to ask for professional help.

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Why a Coach and Mentor makes a difference

I can never emphasize enough how self-analysis and self-awareness are critical. I always advise ambitious career-driven employees and entrepreneurs to have a sit down with themselves at least once a month to find out what’s working and what’s not in their personal situation.

You need to gain absolute clarity on who you are in the present time, before you can take any decisions about your future. 

This is even more important in your professional life which is influenced by many external factors as well as your inner ones.

That’s why if you are looking to resolve specific issues in your work life, hiring a professional who is an expert both in coaching and in career and business mentoring is an effective strategy to go for. And if you happen to be an entrepreneur, it’s the best route to take.

You will get more value out of your coaching experience if you can define your initial ideas with a specialist Coach first. Then, if they have mentoring skills as well, they’ll be much better positioned to steer you directly and precisely towards the outcome you want.

To give you a concrete example, I’ve come across many people who have tried out the well-known “Ikigai” exercise they found online as a way to coach themselves. Then, they realized they didn’t do it correctly or didn’t know what to do after completing it! 

This is because the Ikigai – or any other self-assessment resources – really works when you leverage the ‘Mirror Effect’ that an external Coach with outstanding global listening skills can provide. And if it’s done in relation to your career area, you’ll need expert guidance to be able to turn that newly-gained deep self-awareness into an actionable plan.

Key takeaway: self-help is beneficial but a professional coaching experience is more rapid, permanent, and life-changing. 🎯

Chat To Me.

If you are ready to see some changes in your career or business, let’s chat!

Personal development

Do You Want To Have An Abundance Or Scarcity Mindset?

You may instinctively see the world as a place of abundance or a place of scarcity. Or, you could deliberately choose how to view it.

The difference between abundance and scarcity

How you view the world will no doubt affect the opportunities you see, the expectations you have, and ultimately the results you get from anything you do. So, it’s important to learn to distinguish the two opposite mindsets you may have.

💡 Here are their 5 key differences:

1> An abundance mindset believes that there is plenty to go around. You believe there is plenty of money, plenty of potential partners, and plenty of opportunities in general.

  • A scarcity mindset believes there is a limited supply of everything, and that someone else must lose in order for you to win.

2> An abundance mindset believes that anything is possible. With that attitude, you’re willing to try new things and you expect that things will eventually go your way. Life becomes much easier!

  • If you have a scarcity mindset, you believe that life is difficult. You see success as being harder than it really is. You expect the worst and might convince yourself that it’s pointless to even try.

3> An abundance mindset makes opportunities more visible. Opportunities are easier to see when you expect to find them. Seek and you shall find: your expectations will be met at some point in your life.

  • If you believe opportunities are scarce, you’ll struggle to find them. This will be true even if they’re right in front of your face.

4> You take more risks with an abundance mindset. You believe the more you risk, the more you stand to gain. You also potentially have more to lose, but that’s part of the game. The bold ones will outperform those that are fearful.

  • You’re more likely to play it safe if you view the world from a position of scarcity. You’re more afraid of losing what you have since you believe it will be difficult to get it back.

5> You are more relaxed if you have an abundance mindset. When you believe the world has everything you need, you view the possibilities as endless. Your overall viewpoint of life is more positive.

  • A scarcity mindset results in anxiety and pessimism. You believe you have to fight the world to get what you want and retain what you already have.

head with mindset switch inside

Your mindset can be changed

The truth is most people live with a scarcity mindset without even realizing it.

In certain parts of the world, the population has factual reasons to feel that way. For example, there may be a shortage of food, clean water, housing or employment.

Scarcity thinking is also partly driven by advertisers and the media in general. We are always encouraged to consume and have more. Even when we have enough, we’re told that we need a better car, better clothes, or a higher income to be successful.

Yet, as empowered thinkers, we should independently decide how to live our life “successfully”.

The good news is that you have a choice!

Mindsets are just beliefs that you acquired early in life through the way you were raised or your experiences in school. They’re powerful beliefs that have shaped your habits but they’re just something in your mind, and you can change your mind.

Ask yourself this powerful question now:

💡 > Knowing what you know now, which mindset do you want to embrace?

If you choose abundance, trust this: abundance will flow into your life if you allow it.

You do need to “wear” this mindset and actively practice it for a period of time though.

In her research from 2009, health psychology researcher Philippa Lally proved that it takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days for people to form a new habit.

So, if you set this as your next goal, in less than a year your life may look a lot different. 🎯

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8 strategies to move from scarcity to abundance

So how can you switch from scarcity to abundance? 

💡 Here are 8 pragmatic actions you can start to take from today! 

1> Move away from a short-term perspective.

If you’re constantly seeking immediate rewards, you might have a scarcity mindset. The utilization of resources right now prevents them from being taken away later.

Overeating and overspending can be symptoms of a scarcity mindset for example. “Better eat it or spend it now before it’s gone” is a poor way to view the world.

2> Focus on what you can have in the future.

Instead of worrying about what you might lose, spend some time thinking about what you can gain in the future.

Look forward to the future rather than fear it. Visualize an exciting future. Develop positive feelings about the future.

3> Focus on what you already have.

You might already have enough to have a grateful and positive mindset.

When you appreciate that you have enough, you won’t be worried about losing it. You have plenty.

4> Avoid people that complain a lot.

You’re more susceptible to the mindset of others than you think.

Find positive people to include in your social circle. There are so many people out there, why spend time with those that make your life harder?

5> Avoid wasting time.

By taking part in frivolous and unproductive activities, you waste your most valuable resource: your time.

Value your time and you’ll have more of it.

6> Keep a journal.

Keep it positive: list all the things in your life that make you feel grateful. Be sure to mention all the people too.

You probably have a home, a job, a car, a family, 10 good friends, and so on. That’s a good start!

7> Get organized.

Organize your home and office space and your personal agenda. You’ll be surprised by how many things you own. Plus, getting organized will free up more time.

When you realize that you have more things and time than you thought, you’ll think more abundantly.

8> Be generous.

Convince yourself that there is enough for everyone by sharing what you have. The more you give, the more others will be willing to share with you.

Giving will enforce the idea that there is always enough to go around.

💡 Key takeaway: an abundance mindset generates an abundant life.

An abundance mindset won’t magically place a Ferrari in your garage or add few zeros to your bank account.

However, it will allow you to achieve the long-term goals you set in your life. 🎯

Chat To Me.

If you are ready to see some changes in your career or business, let’s chat!